Sasquatch, Fairies and other Mythical Beings...
You know, I love men, I really do. I love just about everything about them that makes them men, including dumb stuff like they smell like men and sound like men and have those nice muscles on their shoulders called traps or plats or something (for illustrative guide, clink here)...
And sure, there is a 'but' - But what is it about our better (read other) halves (sometimes quarters) that has us wanting to either scratch our own or some innocent bystander's eyes out??? Have you ever felt desparately lost when it comes to understanding how this partner of your's that you cherish and/or adore a lot of the time, can turn into something that so does not fit your idea of what he/she/it should be??
I mean like at times when they don't call when they say they will, they disappear for extended periods without notice, they seek entertainment elsewhere?! Do you know the feeling? Sure, there are varying degrees of how bad these types of behaviour are. I am talking about the type that makes you crazy like a bitch and want to scream! Because so help me God, there are times when I do just scream "WTF"!
So I have this theory, propounded during one of my not-so-loving-towards-men periods. I call it my Sasquatch, Fairies and other Mythical Beings Theory.
I have certain basic requirements for the kind of guy I would like to go out with, have a relationship with and maybe even one day (aarrgghh!) propogate the species with. Basic things like: he should have a good sense of humour, love animals, be nice to my mum, be decent and kind, honest and super hot, and faithful and single. So that's not a huge ask, right?
I'll be damned, but I could not tell you if such a guy exists. This, despite the fact that my mum and wise women of her generation assure me that there is someone out there for me, when the time is right blah blah blah...Where is Super-Boyfriend??? Who will not turn into a raving lunatic, or disappear off the face of the Earth, or decide that one woman is just not enough????
So, it's a lot like with Sasquatch - which is the other name for Yeti or Bigfoot. There are thousands of people who will claim to have sighted a Yeti, tracked Bigfoot, and/or filmed Sasquatch. People will say they have found hair samples, foot prints, they camp out in the wild for months at a time to try and bring the world proof it exists...Has anyone ever produced a Sasquatch??? Is there a Sasquatch running around in some zoo somewhere? Er...nope.
Same thing with me finding the Guy who meets my minimum requirements and pretty much stays that way, keeping me happy. My mamma will probably say something like - there is a Sasquatch...sorry Guy...out there, we just have to find him. Bless her heart for being so optimistic, BUT COME ON, .........!!!.......! I might even be told to understand the need to compromise, or have that damned Rolling Stones refrain thrown in my face: You can't always get what you want...
But damnation, I don't want to hear about this compromise to be happy bullS*it. How the hell are you supposed to compromise on the faithfulness issue, or the don't-be-a-psycho issue???
You see, I don't think the Guy is out there. And like Sasquatch and Fairies and freakin Unicorns, none of which can be conclusively proven to exist, there is no freakin proof that He does. I have not, in all my fabulous years, found someone who meets all my basic requirements...Can I get a "what's up with that?..." You think maybe it's me? Okay, but before you answer that, think about your own damn relationships, past and present and tell me whether I really am nuts.
Hey, that's not to say that there are not some happy couples out there who have the formula right, and if you have found your Sasquatch: congratulations. I hope you live long and have lots of little Yeties.
For the rest of you, still wandering the plains looking for your Bigfoot, you are not in bad company and if you figure out the Magic Formula to finding the darned creature, let us know.
Lurve
Fifi
