Fifi and Gigi Observe

CYBER-CUPID..

Okay girlies, so in the interest of science, yours Fifi has made the ultimate sacrifice and thrown herself into the realm of the cyber love!  Fifi le Cure is the newest member of this latest racket called online dating.

I have had my doubts about the ridiculous possibilities of finding a mate on solid ground the old fashioned way.  Call me cynical or jaded or freaking frigid if you want, but this whole meeting, greeting, marrying and reproducing with someone thing has been getting on my ample tits of late.  And maybe it's because we are getting on in the years, long in the tooth, whatever, but apparently we may have sell-by dates and some internet-gurus (read opportunists) have taken it upon themselves to exploit this anxiety.  The generation of instant-gratification-junkies has gone cyber on the love front.

It also seems that lots of people have taken to this new fad.  So after fielding a barrage of comments and protestations from friends, colleagues and people I stand next to in grocery store queues, I decided to check out the whole buzz re: online dating, so that I can say with some authority that it is a load of bollocks.

Firstly, the darn registration process requires about twenty minutes, forty if you're allergic to computers or technology in general, to designate cute and meaningless characteristics to yourself like, “I am spiritual but not religious” (and I haven’t killed anyone with my stiletto for three months…??), or deciding whether singleness on the part of any suitors is “not important”, “moderately important” or “not negotiable”! 

Ahem, what the hell is the point of the entire process of online freakin dating if not to find someone YOU CAN HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH?  I should think marital status, like HIV status, should be negative and that isn’t negotiable!

Right, so I was brutally honest: yes I am a regular drinker (I am no longer a heavy drinker which was one of the criteria, gulp), yes I am a regular freaking chain smoker and no, I don’t give a rat’s ass whether you are poor as a church mouse (why have we picked on church mice this way?) or a “Fat Cat”.  I get through the entire process and then I pick a few blokes to “MAKE CONTACT WITH”.  Youalmost expect a damn drum roll in the back ground, and whack! they hit you with the “Pssst…you must pay to view, Missy” 

Abso-freakin-lutely typical! Yeah, you gotta cough up.  So hey, I am doing this for the benefit of my fellow curious females, and better me than one of you vulnerable lot. So I go through the entire shebang, induction ceremony the works, and finally I get to send an email.

And, er… well, not all of them have pictures so I’m working with these screen-bean sketches okay, (hoping that the screen-beans are not an improvement) and  I don’t know whether I am getting George Clooney or Marilyn Manson. Must be part of the allure of online dating…the sheer surprise.  Anyway, no problemo, I am not looking for the next Mr le Cure, so I send my supremely mysterious mails to even more mysterious sketched out guys. 

The one likes candle light dinners, the other wants to be himself with people...we’ll see, not sure if he’ll still want to be himself after I am done with him, but for now, it’s time to sit back and wait and see.  Be sure to check out for my updates, cos ladies, this is going to be funny if nothing else.

And hey, if you have any comments, personal experiences or questions re: online dating even if it is just about how to sign up! drop us a mail and we'll get back to you: fifi.gigi1@gmail.com

Lots a lurve

Fifi